By Emerald Wynn
Photos by Lizzie Lexington
I logged in one day to find a note from Death in my inventory.
Death is looking for a sidekick — a partner in crime, if you will.
Death is looking for someone to bring a little fun to Life.
Oh blah — ENOUGH! I could go on and on with ominous and ironic Death references, but I’ll just stop there. I’ll admit I was a little nervous about going out on a test-run date with a guy named Death. I expected dark spooky places and possibly creepy fetishes.
And yeah, if you’re new to this column, that’s what I do. I take eligible singles for a test drive so you don’t have to, and then I write about them. If you like the person I’m writing about, drop him/her a note and say something witty, use your best pick-up line, or just say, “Hey, you sound like fun!” Believe me, they’d love to hear from you. That’s why they subject themselves to my column.
So anyway, back to Death. His name is Death Seetan, but if you feel a little weird screaming out, “OH DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!” during the throes of SLexual passion, you can just call him Edward. He’s comfortable with both.
Contrary to my expectations, Death wasn’t spooky at all. He’s a good-natured guy who was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt when I met him at AM Radio’s stunning build The Far Away.
I had to get the obvious and awkwardly asked question out of the way first:
Emerald Wynn: Are you looking for a girl or a guy . . . or a Furry or . . . ?
Death Seetan: A girl, and while I personally find the furry thing … disturbing to a point, I don’t mind the girls walking around with cat tails. I just don’t see myself dating someone who looks like they belong in a zoo.
Ha HAAAAA! Nekos, you’re in! Furries, no offense but you’re out. Don’t worry, Furries. I for one wouldn’t mind cuddling with a big sexy lion. It’s all just a matter of personal preference.
That aside, I like Death already because he too is a fan of ellipses.
I asked Death to take me to a few places where he’d take a date. He likes goofing off and having fun. In fact, he describes himself as “a bit looney.” So we headed over to Iggy’s Fun World to ride some rides. Unfortunately for you, dear readers, you’re not going to see pictures because we both look foolish in them. It’s HARD to get decent pictures when you’re whirling around on a carnival ride. So just use your imaginations, please.
Hey Death, while we’re on this merry-go-round thingy, why don’t you tell me what you’re looking for in a lady?
Death Seetan: Classy. But not really stiff, [and also occasionally] up to being silly, but I don’t want someone who spends 24/7 walking around with an oiled skin and bikini either. Yet I’d like her to be able to feel comfortable randomly throwing on something that looks crazy and go walking around like a fool with me.
*The columnist gives Death bonus points for Just Saying No to oily babes and Just Saying Yes to silly fun.*
As for Death’s appearance, well, he’s got lots of tattoos and piercings, not to mention facial hair. Speaking from the perspective of a woman who has begged men in real life to shave things off, I asked Death if he’d get rid of any of that stuff if a woman asked him nicely.
The answer was no. No, ladies! You’re not going to change Death, and you know what? I don’t blame him. With a nickname like Death, you’ve gotta have a little edge. Plus, Death’s real-life self has tattoos and piercings. So yay for blending the real with the surreal.
He WILL change the hair on his head for you though. So there’s that.
I like to dig deep with my poor helpless subjects, so I asked him the following question:
Emerald Wynn: What’s an important lesson you’ve learned since you’ve been in SL?
Death Seetan: Don’t just befriend anyone who starts giving you freebies out of her store. I got my first crazy woman stalker that way. She would literally be waiting in my skybox for me and get upset if I had other plans or wasn’t inworld for a bit, and I had just met her.
Did you catch that, girls? He’s stalker-worthy! And women throw free things at him! That’s a good sign!
And yeah, don’t take candy from strangers. I couldn’t agree more.
Um, what about age?
Emerald Wynn: Do you mind if I ask how old you are in RL, and would RL age play a factor in your SL dating?
Death Seetan: I’m 26. I’d prefer someone 3 or 4 years either way on the scale, because when people get younger than that, they tend to act like they are young and angst-filled. And someone older than 3 or 4 years than I am might be a little too far away from my mindset.
Let’s pause for a moment while 30-something-year-old angst-filled Emerald punches Death in the face . . . . . . . . . .
HA HA! Just kidding. Sort of. (Yeah, I’m feeling touchy about my age these days. Sorry.)
But enough about me!
After we finished gettin’ all queasy on whirly rides, Death and I went ballroom dancing at Bubbly Nightclub. I was impressed that he had a tux in his inventory. More bonus points!
As I was stepping on poor Death’s feet and dancing out of sync like an idiot, I asked him what his biggest turn-offs were.
Death Seetan: A lack of common sense and education. Well, that and drug use. I like someone who can argue the points of some subjects with me, who has some common sense, and isn’t drugged-out every time I talk to her. Granted, I enjoy a good beer and a cigarette, but I can’t deal with someone who has to be stoned 24/7.
*Emerald Wynn spits out her Xanax and puts down her gin and tonic*
OK, stoner chicks — it looks like you’re out. Actually, Death had a bad previous experience with a stoner chick. I won’t elaborate on it here. Just know that he doesn’t want to re-live it. I don’t blame him.
Death Seetan: I have a hard time finding women that don’t look like prostitutes, or just want to act like one … and I would rather have someone around I can hang out with and talk to intellectually.
*Emerald Wynn tucks her boobs more securely into her top and scoots the slider to the left a little*
OK, so here’s the thing about Death. He’s not really looking for an SL relationship that could transition into a real one. Or so he says. I say that because I firmly believe that love can move mountains and change minds. So I pushed him on this topic a little, about how much he’d discuss real life in Second Life, and REALLY SERIOUSLY if he met an amazing woman in Second Life, wouldn’t he even CONSIDER wanting to meet her in real life?
Death Seetan: Well, since I can’t predict the future, I can’t really say if I would or wouldn’t. I could find someone tomorrow who I connect to on that level, but then again, I might not.
AH HA! I knew it! Never say “never,” Death! Seize the day! Get the girl! Never say die! Well . . . oops. That’s hard with a name like Death. But you get my drift.
And as for talking about reality?
Death Seetan: I will talk about some aspects of my reality on SL, such as my job, or travel, or my video game affection … or maybe some things about growing up or something stupid I did with my friends, but I rarely reveal anything too private. I’ll mention my birthday, or something I’m asked, if I feel up to telling about it, but that’s about as far as I go. This is meant to be fun, after all, and sometimes reality is anything but fun.
Tell me about it, Death.
OK, here’s where the writer gets even lazier than she already has been. I promised myself when I came up with this column concept that it was going to be more than just a verbatim chat Q&A. But I like this part of my conversation with Death. I think it shows his sweet vulnerable side. So I’m going to break my own rule.
The night was getting late and my brain was getting mushy, so I asked Death if there was anything else he wanted to tell me about himself.
Death Seetan: Well, I prefer rock music, if that matters. I don’t listen to anything but that really. It’d be nice to have a lady that doesn’t listen to Britney Spears or rap all the time. We’d have nothing to talk about musically … which is a big part of what I love in life off and online.
Emerald Wynn: Do you play in a band in RL?
Death Seetan: I have. I don’t do it anymore. Not enough time. I sang when I did.
Emerald Wynn: Oh cool! And have you been to live rock performances here in SL?
Death Seetan: No, I haven’t. I really haven’t done too many things compared to most people. I tend to get to one place and just stay there until I log off. And I can’t actually find the good places for music here…it all seems to be rap and pop.
Emerald Wynn giggles – “I tend to get to one place and just stay there.”
Emerald Wynn: What does that mean?
Emerald Wynn: :)
Emerald Wynn: meaning, you log on with a plan?
Death Seetan: Not really.
Death Seetan chuckles.
(Yeah, there was giggling and chuckling.)
Death Seetan: I just don’t have anywhere to go. I’ll go somewhere and walk around for a while, then idle there and play a video game. I imagine I’d stay around more if I had people to talk with.
Emerald Wynn: awwww :(
Here’s my take on Death, ladies. First of all, he’s totally fine with you calling him Edward. He chose the SL name Death/Edward based on a character in the “Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter” series. So he reads, and that’s a good thing. He seems up for anything. In one night, we went from talking in an artistic installation to riding amusement park rides to ballroom dancing. Very versatile. He didn’t flinch at any of my questions, although I forgot to ask him about sex. *BAD BLOGGER*
He’s open, he’s straightforward and he’s comfortable in the company of women. In fact, he belongs to the freebie-hunting/chair-stalking group Hey Girlfriend! and speaking of, that’s something else I really like about Edward: He likes to hunt! His good SL friend Anarya, in fact, is the amazing woman who almost singlehandedly orchestrated the Through the Looking Glass Hunt.
So ladies, you can drag Death/Edward along with you on your next gridwide hunt and he won’t complain. In fact, he’ll even help you. JACKPOT!
And speaking of Anarya, I hunted her down at her store Anadem Center and asked her about Death because YES, I am an investigative romance journalist like that.
Actually, Anarya is the one who talked Death into volunteering for this column. “He’s looking for someone to share his Second Life with while he tries to figure out the madness in this virtual world, for laughs and talks and whatever things lead to,” she said.
Well said. Laughs and talks usually lead to good things.
My personal prescription for Death: A well-read, down-to-earth chick who isn’t a fashion diva but is savvy enough to delete most of the bling, body oil and hoochwear from her inventory. (I say “most of” because you never know when a romantic night will lead to some hoochie roleplay.) In my humble opinion, I think Death would be great with a witty, vibrant girl who could expand his horizons and show him some new places to hear great music. A spontaneous, energetic woman would be great, but spazzy little angsty airheads need not apply. A girl who loves video games would probably rock Edward’s world. Clingy types, please keep your distance.
But what do I know? I’m just your Love Doctor.
Since my “date” with Death, we’ve chatted a little and I really like him. He’s friendly and nice and gets excited about simple things, like his new skybox. He doesn’t seem like a high-maintenance guy. In terms of my own IMs with him, he usually makes the first move. I like a man who’s proactive like that. He has a blog, which is always a plus in my book, and you can get a great feel for his personality over there.
Ladies, if he sounds like your type, I think you should give him a whirl.
OK, that was a cheesy ending. And I lied: There’s a picture of us on a ride for you. Along that line, much thanks to guest photographer Lizzie Lexington.
VITAL STATS
Name: Death (aka Edward) Seetan
Rez Date: June 7, 2008
Interested in: Women
Inworld: Mostly at night
Relationship Goal: For the moment, only Second Life
Turn-Ons: Brains, good conversation, sense of humor, rock music
Turn-Offs: Dense floozies, body oil, drugs, Britney Spears
Blog: Edward’s Blog O’ Freebies
How to contact him: Drop him a note or send him an IM
DISCLAIMER: Date at your own risk! Emerald Wynn is not responsible for the behavior or non-behavior of any subjects featured in her column, nor can she guarantee the validity of any facts expressed by her sources. Be smart! Be safe! If necessary, hire a private detective!
HOW TO PLAY: If you’re an eligible bachelor or bachelorette who’d like to be featured in a future “Date with Emerald” column, please drop a notecard inworld to Emerald Wynn. If you’d like to be a guest photographer for an upcoming column, PLEASE do not hesitate to contact non-photographer Emerald Wynn as well.
This little village surrounds a 7Seas stocked fishing lake, with rowboats available to visit neighbors or just to relax on the lake. The parcel division is perfect; the mountains and fields and streams are situated to allow privacy for each homeowner, while maintaining a cohesive, village feeling. 
On the day of my visit there was just one vacancy. It was a 1650 prim, 8096 sqm parcel for $L3712 per week. As I explored Bord Du Lac, I was keenly aware that privacy is highly valued here. The owner, Zasa Rossini, introduced herself and welcomed me. She was at that moment keeping watch over some wandering visitors. She is a self-described pitbull at protecting her estate residents. After enjoying the vista of lake and mountains in Bord Du Lac, I went on a tour of Dans les Montagnes, the adjoining shopping village. I picked a busy day, the place was swarming with hunters. The landscape is charming and the village is packed with unique shops. I love it when a community is so well-built that one can feel the ambiance of the real life place it was designed to emulate. This is one of those places. 
